Our traditional image of Mary has been a maternal one. Because a single image cannot capture her identity for everyone, this article will investigate how religious women today regard Mary as“blessed among women.” Drawing on their insights, it will distinguish between the stereotyped image of Mary and the real person.
Mary has suffered oppressive biography, though not at the hands of women, because few have written about her. Although some countries maintain a virtual excess of her cult, in the United States she is less venerated now than in recent decades. Liturgically, Saturday remains her day, and feasts in her honour sprinkle the church calendar. But we have lost the woman who dwells behind the devotion.We have praised her miracles and forgotten herperson. Examining Mary’s place in current spirituality proves disheartening. Too many dusty tomesrepeat the same worn information and reiteratefamiliar scriptural refrains. For the most part, thematerial is uninspiring, outdated, and offensive tofeminists. Yet the question persists: can Catholicwomen today relate to Mary?
To answer the question, I decided to close thebooks and leave the library. I looked at my ownreligious history and asked questions of otherwomen. The women I turned to were members ofvarious religious congregations and were engagedin a variety of ministries. They were scattered geographically and represented a wide age range. In mysample, women had four common characteristics:fidelity to their own religious experience, earlyformation including devotion to Mary, awarenessof feminist issues, and ongoing engagement intheological reflection.
My reasons for limiting the study to women religious are reflected in the thoughts of Mary Ewens,O.P., in Women of Spirit, a collection of essays onleadership roles of women in the Jewish and Chris¬tian traditions:
[Catholic sisters] made a tremendous contributionto the liberation of other women, particularlythrough education.
In their personal lives and in their work theyhave enjoyed many of the freedoms and opportunities that feminists are pleading for today. Theyhave supported themselves, owned property, received an advanced education, and held executivepositions. They have not feared success; have hadmentors who gave them encouragement and advice; and have been freed from the responsibilitiesof marriage and motherhood. They have transcended sex role stereotypes and enjoyed friendshipsbased not on sexuality but on common interest anda sharing of the deepest aspirations of the humansoul.
Since these women have helped liberate others,they might help liberate Mary from confiningmyths and images, too.
MARY AS AN ASSERTIVE WOMAN
Although many feminists charge otherwise, mybias is that Mary has been a supportive sister, notan oppressive one. I find it unnecessary for women, in their attempt to articulate a contemporary feminist spirituality, to suppress Mary’s potential. It seems unjust to discredit Mary becauseothers have exploited her cult. For example,Marina Warner, in her scholarly book on MaryAlone of All Her Sex, states that “both humanity andwomen were subtly denied in the intimidatingperfection of Mary.' Likewise, Naomi Goldenbergrefers to Mary as “the good girl of Christianity. Absolutely obedient to the male God, she derives allher status from her son.” Rosemary Ruether acknowledges that in the Western Church “Mary was,at least externally, female, and she provided a‘feminizing’ element in an otherwise wholly masculine religion.”
The Mary her cults profess is not the woman Iknow. The woman who dared to interrupt an angelat the annunciation (Luke 1:34) and decided themoment for her son to provide the best wine (John2:1 — 12) seems assertive rather than submissive,she names her own child (Isaiah 7:14), a customaryright of the father, and her visitation to Elizabethis a delightful instance of getting away for awoman-to-woman talk. She needs to be with another woman and to share her secret. Both rejoicein their capacity to nurture life, and they trust thebody's intuition when “the baby leapt in my wombfor joy” (Luke 1:39). Some, no doubt, resented thefact that Mary did not know her place, that she wasnot a domesticated figure but a public presence(Matthew 12:46-50; Luke 2:22ff; John 2:1 — 11;John 19:25; Acts 1:14). She wonders, she questions,she speaks out (Luke 1:29; 34; 46-55). On earth, sheis a carpenter’s wife, not a queen. But out of theordinary emerged an extraordinary fidelity to herown religious experience. Mary knew powerlessness and injustice, for she knew the threat oftragedy during the days of her son's career.
I know Mary as a capable woman, able to defendherself. I argue her cause for our sake, not for hers.We can take Mary seriously in light of her potentialto enrich both feminism and women's history. Isupport her presence among women today, for shehas lessons to teach us.
I imagine Mary knows what it is to be misused ina church that has defined her historical female role.I imagine she understands why some women mistrust her. Some theologians regarded her womanhood with an anxious eye, and their suspicions areinherited. The real flesh and blood woman becamea distant lady in blue dispensing favours and requests.She is not praised for her spirited womanhood, butfor the dispassionate perfection of her virginity.Mary has had to endure exaggerated hymns of praiseand incense-laden phrases of cloying imagery. Whenflorid prose and poetry were the order of the day,the Litany of Loretto, reflecting the literary style ofits era, had its own inspiring appeal. But that modeof poetry is unfamiliar in our culture. Mary, an active model for a mature fiat, deserves expressionappropriate to our culture.
In my research I resolved neither to reject Mary’scult nor to reconstruct it, but to reinterpret herpresence through the experience of other women.Twenty-eight religious women were asked in atwo-page questionnaire to comment on their relationship with Mary, including the type of modelshe offered and their sources for understanding her.Twenty-two of the women responded. My inquiryassures me that for some religious women Maryremains a significant figure. Sometimes the bond ispersonal, other times devotional.
SURVEY FINDINGS
To begin, let me offer the following descriptionwritten by a sister whose initial image of Mary wasone of a favorite relative giving unexpected gifts:
I have a deep and abiding devotion to Mary. Thegenesis of this devotion lies with my mother, whotaught our family the rosary and recited it with usdaily.
As the years went by, I discovered other Mariandevotions. Visiting Lourdes, Notre Dame, Our Ladyof Knock, Guadalupe, Our Lady of the Pillar, andMaria Mercedes, and seeing Michelangelo’s “Pieta”were profound religious experiences strengtheningmy devotion to Mary.
When the rosary waned as a popular devotion, Icontinued to hold fast to it. Then, while traveling inthe Middle East, I was enthralled to see Moslem useof prayer-beads. Their prayer habits had been nurtured with the use of beads to help them rivet theirattention on Allah.
Later, when I studied zen and used a mantra asprayer aids, I found that these devices served asimilar purpose. I moved to a more distilled type ofprayer from which the rosary had historicallyevolved, but it was through the rosary that I grewin a spirit of disciplined meditation.
A nurse remarks on Mary’s faith as anything buteffortless:
Jesus is our model as saviour. Mary is our model assaved. I think we would be less confused about faith(which might well make it more difficult) if we letMary into our lives. Our faith would be stronger,gentler, more merciful, and reverent toward eachother.
I have a relationship with Mary. I do not use theword devotion, because I have difficulty with it.Devotion symbolizes, for me, a very emotional typeof faith (I am very emotional and emotions do notsee me through)—a faith dependent on themiraculous to manipulate reality to suit its point ofview, even to bolster it up. Mary’s faith is notmerely emotional, miracle-oriented, or manipulative. I deliberately choose her presence and her in¬fluence in the strong hope that there my faith willmature.
The majority of women surveyed were divided onthe issue of whether or not American women hadbeen oppressed or manipulated by the cult of Mary.Most were close to Mary, turning to her in times ofneed and experiencing her consolation.
All of the women, however, did not have a positive relationship with Mary:
I have neither devotion to nor a relationship withMary. Being in a community where Mary had acentral role has, at times, caused me some unnecessary guilt, especially while in formation. When I considered your questions, I realized why she has no significance. I recall only one statue of Mary that ever touched me, and it was very warm. The rosary only caused me to run from Mary. Somewhere along the line it was drummed into me how obedient Mary was, unquestionably obedient. This was a struggle for me. I was just 'finding” myself and unable to make the same oblation.
Four other women explained why their relationship with Mary was not of real significance. Allcited as one reason that she has been drawn so contrary to the kind of woman one admires in thetwentieth century. They found that Mary was toogood to be true, or at least too good to imitate.
Some women offer evidence that we have resented Mary as a role model of unattainable perfection because she reinforces our inadequacy. NancyFriday, writing about the daughter’s search foridentity in My Mother I My Self, dedicates the book toher mother with these words: 'When I stoppedseeing my mother with the eyes of a child, I saw thewoman who helped me give birth to myself.'Elsewhere she, reiterates this point: 'Until thedaughter accepts that the mother did not have to beperfect, her childish anger will inhibit the full useof the admirable traits her mother did have.' Thissuggests some questions: Do we confine Mary’scharacter to an unreal perfection? Do we rememberher doubts, her fears and her anger? What was herexperience when her son was lost? How did shecope with the first inkling that her adolescent sonwould soon be leaving home? What was it like towake in the night and flee to Egypt, then hear of theslaughter of innocent lives?
Feminists are rightly angered that women, manipulated by the cult of Mary, perceive a role modelof submission and passivity. To retaliate by dis¬missing Mary’s potential, however, is to deny hercompetence and our creativity. We cannot rob herof her vital personality by observing that she hasbeen objectified and oppressed. We need to reinterpret Mary's contemporary role by dwelling lesson her mysteries and more on her reality.
MARY’S ROLE FOR WOMEN
What can be gained from renewed theologicalreflection about Mary? Let me quote directly fromthe responses. First, there is the collective assessment that Mary offers something female experience:
In these times we need models of womanliness—tender and strong and sensitive. Mary combinesthese qualities.
Mary’s Fiat and Magnificat could give great impetus to the feminist movement. They are, how¬ever, prayers from a woman who has experiencedfreedom in her relationship with God and life. Regrettably, they have been used as “shoulds” to make women surrender to the will of others, frequently authority figures.
Mary has something to say to our age. It would be worth investigating through prayer and reflection what she really is like. I cannot imagine the Lord choosing a passive-dependent type of person for his mother. Mary has something to say to us today about what it means to be a woman.
Second, renewed reflection about Mary refinesthe spiritual dimension of a feminist perspective:
Viewing Mary from the perspective of a current understanding of feminine consciousness and of discipleship could benefit women in their spiritual development.
Mary has a role to play in relation to the feministmovement. She shows how effective a woman canbe without being strident.
When you deny the truth about anyone’s being,you diminish that person as well as yourself. We(women) are Mary's kind. We are denied. When weare denied, our brothers are denied as well becausethey are bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh.When Mary is denied, Jesus is also denied becausethey are so close—always calling each other forthand revealing the other.
Third, attention to Mary causes a dynamic shiftin consciousness:
Mary can remind women that though we havebeen abused because of feminine receptivity, weare not to deny the beauty of the archetypal yinqualities and let the masculine win by hating ourselves.
I think that the Mary patriarchal history hascreated bears even less resemblance to the real person than the blond haloed Jesus of the 19th centurybore to the real Jesus.
Finally, as women look upon their experience inrelation to Mary, they entertain projected possibilities:
I believe that this woman, as peacemaker, hasmuch positive input to offer a world run by menand bent upon war.
Mary has something to teach us about what itmeans to be an active religious woman.
Perhaps Mary could offer more hope and consolation to us today if we pondered more what she her¬self might have felt.
Penelope Washbourn, in the last summaryparagraph of her book Becoming Woman, writes:
Becoming woman is a spiritual search. It involvesfinding a sense of one's personal worth in relationto the whole of life, even beyond death. Believing inourselves, loving ourselves as women, is our mostsacred task in and through the many phases of oursexual and personal development. Finding freedomfrom fear involves risking and trusting our feelings.As we risk, however, we will be given new hope, new strength, and a new love for ourselves and for others. Acting on this trust will enable us to grow in understanding through all the stages of life.
No other woman has done this as completely asMary. A sister of St. Joseph says, 'I find myselfcalling on Mary when I am most overcome by sinin the form of crippling fear or inadequacy. Shenever fails to enable me to come back to myselfwith courage and confidence'. The personal experiences of some attest to a real encounter withMary. She helps us love ourselves as women, a 'sacred task.'
NEW APPRECIATION POSSIBLE
What impressed me most about the women whoresponded was the honesty and openness of theirstatements, a fidelity to their own “spiritualsearch,” and the quality of accustomed reflection. Iliked these sisters, their stories, and their hopes asthey revealed Mary as sister, mother, bride, andfriend. Some have let go of Mary for a while; butnone want her forgotten, only purified of paststereotypes and made more authentic for today'schurch. Religious women have a unique balanceand ready experience that would contribute to anew appreciation of Mary. We may encounter herauthenticity in experience if not in dogma. We maychoose to let her live, alive to us in body as well asin spirit. “For never was it known that anyone whofled to her protection, implored her help, or soughther intercession was left unaided,” as the prayerreminds us.
As Mary’s 'daughters,” we have inherited herhand-me-downs. It seems a timely task to rummagethrough the possessions of her personality and topolish her tarnished identity. Amid the trunks ofchildhood memorabilia we may discover sweetsachets of memories well worth savouring. In thesorting, I think we will find surprising treasures.Often the Mary we remove from our consciousnessis our mother as seen with the eyes of a child. Mydesire is that we may look at her with a woman’shope and allow her to help us give birth to ourselves. Then, perhaps, many of us will be able to sav,as one sister so beautifully attests, “Mv life is notcomplete without this woman who is my sister, mymother, my very dear friend.”
Mary is not a woman of the past; she is a womanof the present. Journalist Maggie Scarf returns totwo underlying, interrelated themes in the lifestories of women: a woman’s struggle to liberateherself and her striving to develop an independent,autonomous sense of self. The tasks that transformus from child to girl to woman are finished in Mary.She models inner confidence and liberation at critical periods in her life's journey. If we allow her totouch us, her story can teach us. She is one whobreathes new life into a sometimes stale understanding of sanctity.
Madonna Kolbenschlag, author of Kiss SleepingBeauty Good-bye, regards the women's movementas possibly the most significant social phenomenonof the 20th century, but she admits that the articulation of a spirituality has come late. She says:
Madonna Kolbenschlag, author of Kiss SleepingBeauty Good-bye, regards the women’s movementas possibly the most significant social phenomenonof the 20th century, but she admits that the articulation of a spirituality has come late. She says:
Much testing, much reflecting, much living mustintervene before we can say, “My soul is now myown.” This is finally what liberation means, that Ihave rescued mv spirit from repressive coercion,from inner compulsion, and from the hazards offreedom itself.
This testing, reflecting, and living can be a collective task as women join together and examine theirexperience of authentic faith. We need Mary as amodel, not only as mother but as liberating sister.Together with her, we can explore the unexaminedaspects of women's experience. It is a shared journey and a sacred task. If anger is to become compassion and if we are to overcome what is oppressive without exploiting those who have dominated,then we need Mary’s company. For she is the onewho first gave birth to herself and thus broughtforth God among us. This, as Kolbenschlag has recognized, is “the meaning of women’s final liberation—that God is being born in each of us.”
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