Dr. Tori Olds' presentation 'Finding Your True Self' explores the journey of discovering our authentic selves through Internal Family Systems. She begins by explaining that our personalities are composed of various 'parts' developed over time to protect us from harm. These parts are based on past experiences and implicit memories, which function like 'psychological muscle memory.' They can take over our behavior in ways that feel automatic, as if 'our logical mind' is overridden by these reflexive responses, leaving us feeling 'hijacked' by our parts.
Dr. Tori Olds emphasizes that beneath these protective parts lies what IFS founder Dick Schwartz calls the 'Big S Self,' or the true self. This true self, she explains, is not just another part but the core of who we are, characterized by qualities like being 'compassionate, connected, calm, creative, clear, curious, confident, and courageous.' She asserts that 'it is always there and it is always amazing,' even if it's often hidden beneath layers of protective mechanisms.
The process of 'unblending' from these parts—stepping back to observe rather than being controlled by them—is key to accessing our true self, according to Dr. Tori Olds. She likens this process to 'peeling back the layers of an onion,' where unblending from one part may reveal another that needs attention. The goal is to reach a state where we can say, 'Well what I'm with now, it isn't a part, it's just myself,' allowing us to reclaim our full cognitive and emotional capacities.
Dr. Tori Olds also discusses the concept of 'neural integration,' where our brain functions at its highest capacity by harmonizing all our thoughts, feelings, and intuitions. She compares this to a wild stallion trapped in a barn: 'When you open the gates and finally it can run at full speed,' that's when it shows its true power. Similarly, when we unblend from our protective parts, we allow our true selves to operate with full freedom and grace.
The presentation further emphasizes that finding our true self is not merely a personal journey but a societal necessity. Dr. Tori Olds argues that in today's complex world, we must access our full potential to address the challenges we face. She notes that in the past, simpler, automatic responses might have sufficed for survival, but now, 'we must all find a way to access our full potential, our actual true self.'
Dr. Olds concludes by stressing the importance of this work for both personal and collective growth. She explains that the world needs 'deeply wise loving adults' who can approach life with 'equanimity, creativity, and gentle strength.' Finding and living from our true selves, she argues, is not just about personal fulfillment but is crucial for the well-being of society as a whole.
In summary, Dr. Tori Olds' presentation invites us to explore and uncover our true selves by recognizing and stepping back from the protective parts that have shaped us. By doing so, we can 'use our full cognitive and emotional intelligence,' respond more effectively to life's challenges, and contribute to a more complex and compassionate world.
Journal and reflect on the following
What are some ways you react when you're upset or scared, and how do you think finding your true self might help you respond differently?
Think about how you act when you're feeling stressed and how you might want to change that.
How can you tell when you're being the real you instead of just doing what you've always done?
Consider how you can notice when you're truly being yourself.
How might being your true self help you solve problems better and stay calm in tough situations?
Think about how being yourself could help you handle challenges more easily.
Have you ever felt like everything in your mind and heart was working together perfectly? What was that like?
Reflect on times when you felt completely in sync with your thoughts and feelings.
Why do you think it's important to be your true self, not just for you, but for making the world a better place?
Consider how being yourself can make a positive impact on the people around you and the world.
Discuss
Song - Matthew West - Becoming Me
Closing prayer
Loving Father, we thank You for guiding us on the journey to discover our true selves. Help us to unearth the parts of us that reflect Your love, compassion, and creativity. As we step back from the fears and doubts that have held us back, may we embrace the identity You have given us, rooted in Your truth and grace. Give us the courage to live authentically, shining Your light in all we do, and inspire us to help others find their true selves in You. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
