At the heart of it is how we deal with Vulnerability
In today’s Gospel – John 6:1-15 – we see Jesus with his disciples in an awkward situation. A large crowd had followed Jesus in the wilderness. Why? Because they believed in him as the Son of God? No! It was “because they saw the signs that he was doing for the sick”. They were not reading the miracles as “signs” but as power. Vulnerable people seeking invulnerability? They wanted some of that power channeled in their direction! This led to a potentially embarrassing outcome: “Jesus said to Philip: ‘Where are we to buy bread for these people to eat?’ He said this to test him, for he himself knew what he was going to do. Philip answered him, ‘Six months’ wages would not buy enough bread for each of them to get a little’.”
We are reminded of a similar experience of vulnerability from long ago. The people are in the wilderness without food: “Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘I am going to rain bread from heaven for you, and each day the people shall go out and gather enough for that day. In that way I will test them, whether they will follow my instruction or not. On the sixth day, when they prepare what they bring in, it will be twice as much as they gather on other days’” (Exodus 16:4-5).
The purpose is that “you shall know that I am the Lord your God” (Exodus 16:12). That is, “through your vulnerability you will come to know my love”. However, their anxiety to escape their vulnerability prompts them to focus on themselves. So they gather more than they need: “Moses said to them …. ‘Gather as much of it as each of you needs ….’. The Israelites did so, some gathering more, some less. But when they measured it …. those who gathered much had nothing over, and those who gathered little had no shortage; they gathered as much as each of them needed. And Moses said to them, ‘Let no one leave any of it over until morning’. But they did not listen to Moses; some left part of it until morning, and it bred worms and became foul” (Exodus 16:15-20)
God meets us as we are. That’s where we should meet ourselves too. However, accepting the “as we are” is an experience of vulnerability.
We tend to resist that. It is in fact the necessary doorway to our becoming human. The poet, David Whyte, sums it up succinctly: “The only choice we have as we mature is how we inhabit our vulnerability, how we become larger and more courageous and more compassionate through our intimacy with disappearance, our choice is to inhabit vulnerability as generous citizens of loss, robustly and fully, or conversely, as misers and complainers, reluctant and fearful, always at the gates of existence, but never bravely and completely attempting to enter, never wanting to risk ourselves, never walking fully through the door” (David Whyte, Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words, Canongate Books, Kindle Edition, 1123-1124).
What is it like to be vulnerable? How are you inclined to respond when you feel vulnerable?
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