In lands unforeseen, my life's first breath, Against all plans, I born. Control, a dream within my mind's hold, My birth, the first tale of the unexpected, told.
Reluctant, to the sea's edge as a young child I was brought, By parental hands, against my thought. A role misplaced, a task unfit, In cold embrace, where sea and sky sit.
The ocean, grander than my childish guise, Lifted me high with each wave's rise. Pinned parental hands, a leap, a laugh so free, A charade of nature's making, wild and spree.
Then, released to tumble, to face the tide, In the surf's rough lesson, a place to confide. Growth's demand from the nest I must, Security's illusion, in parents' trust, combust.
Stressed, yet awakened, in the saline mist, Where fear and freedom coexist. As waves retreat, the truth is dressed: In letting go, we are truly blessed.
PART 2
In the realm of grains and tide, Dad decreed, 'Let castles rise!' We dug a pit, wide and deep, My siblings and I, a fortress to keep.
But play turned to war, sand flew like spite, Across my face, blurring sight. I believed in care, in the gentle hand, Yet found myself in shifting sand.
The bond I thought firm began to fissure, As sand-cast missiles painted me in bitter. 'Ditch the quarrel,' Dad's voice implored, 'Release the anger, peace is your reward.'
He spoke of letting go, of bitterness shed, Of expectations hanging by a thread. In time, he said, memories will wane, And life will stretch beyond this sandy plain.
Yet in my youthful heart, I stood defiant, In my hole in the sand, a lonely giant. Unconcerned with who may come to share, This sandy pit was mine, with a castle in the air.
PART 3
When the world shifted, so did our play, Masks adorned as we moulded wet clay. Sand castles rising beneath a veiled face, In the water? Surely, a misplaced grace.
No snorkel's breath, just muffled sounds, As waves came laughing with their bounds. A surprise of water, a cough, a splutter, Masks on faces, a protective shutter.
Beneath the waves, where breaths were lost, We played in foam, not counting cost. Yet, some forsook the N95 sound, Coughing more, in hues of pall.
What strange new world has this become? Where doctors' words leave us numb. My health, a question, the unknown grew, Perhaps they knew more than we ever knew.
PART 4
On the beach of teenage youth, where sands shift beneath, I stood, amidst the change, a sheath. My form, once familiar, now strange and new, Mirroring stars, in a celebrity's hue.
A vision of perfection, I sought to chase, With growth in places, a hormonal race. Pimples dotting skin like stars in space, Of bumps, hair, and lumps. A body morphing at its own wild pace.
Taller dreams, shorter realities clash, Thinner hopes, against the tide I dash. Confidence stumbled upon this rocky shore, The child's voice lost, amidst the inner war.
Yet in the grains, my hands found grace, As Dad said, 'Let's give these castles a face.' Sand and water, a therapy, a fusion, In creation, I found our connection's beyond illusion.
Building towers, moats, and walls, I rose above the body's brawls. In each grain, a truth to perceive, Beyond the mirror, I began to believe.
PART 5
Aging's hand took me to the sands, Alone, without my parents' hands. Where once was comfort, now I stand, Illusion shed, in life greater demand.
A newfound freedom at my feet, Where horizon and whitecaps meet. A thousand miles from childhood and parent’s seat, On shores new tales and not compete.
Love, a fleeting glance beside the sea, A vision of what's meant to be. A new partner and a kiss to seal the certainty, In Love Island dreams, a fantasy.
Yet, life's tide brings truth to light, Beyond the beach's transient night. It's not the body's fleeting sight, But shared souls that hold us tight.
Captured by love's deeper creed, Beyond the shallow celebrity's deed. For in love's truth, we truly read, The lasting bond of shared seed.
PART 6
Afloat on dreams, on water's brink, I rode control's edge, closer than you'd think. Married, with children two, life's surprise, Younger illusions shattered under open skies.
Life's sandy slopes, with twists, unfurled, Tossed by waves in a relentless world. Child, youth, adult, plans cast aside, On the shore of reality, where truths abide.
Driven by something deep within, To sculpt in sand, a kinship's begin. Not to idle on the beach, nor waves to brave, But for my child within, and sand castles to crave.
There, in a pit, their claim staked bold, 'My hole!' my own child cried, to learn to let go A legacy not of solitude or sea's lone call, But castles built, as a family where shadows will fade.
PART 7
In the quiet hush where endings weave, I found my close where none believe. Beyond the fear, death's stark illusion, Lay not in plans of my own conclusion.
No date was set, nor hour, nor place, Life's ebb and flow, I did embrace. With waves that danced, and sand's creations, I lived a tale past my expectations.
Sand castles stood, against time's theft, Waves crashed in whispers, with each breath left. Here, in the unexpected, I took my rest, A life well-lived, and in that, blessed.
Writer’s explanation
The poem 'Sands of Illusion' is a narrative of personal growth and the relinquishing of illusions about control, relationships, health, and identity. It begins with the birth of the speaker in an unexpected place, highlighting the theme that life does not conform to our plans. This theme is expanded upon as the speaker grows from a child at the beach under the care of parents, to a youth building sandcastles and learning to deal with conflict and let go of anger.
As the world changes with the advent of COVID-19, the speaker adapts to new ways of playing and interacting, recognizing the limits of their knowledge about health and the world. The poem continues with the speaker's adolescence, facing the challenges of physical and emotional changes, and learning to find new ways to connect and build self-esteem.
The narrative progresses to the speaker’s adulthood, experiencing newfound freedom away from parents, discovering love beyond superficial attraction, and understanding the deeper connections that form lasting relationships. The speaker then reflects on starting their own family, facing life's unpredictable nature, and teaching their children the lessons they've learned.
Finally, the poem concludes with the speaker's death, coming full circle to the idea that life is unpredictable and cannot be controlled. Despite this, the speaker finds peace in having lived a life full of experiences that surpassed their expectations. 'Sands of Illusion' is about embracing the ebb and flow of life, the impermanence of our constructs, and finding beauty and meaning in the journey rather than the destination.
Questions for further discussion and reflection
How does the progression of the poem from childhood to adulthood and ultimately to the end of life reflect the evolution of our understanding of control and the illusions we hold?
In the poem, moments of constructing sandcastles are used as a metaphor for life's fleeting creations and efforts. How do these moments symbolize our attempts to find meaning and structure in a world that is inherently impermanent?
The poem closes with an acceptance of death's unpredictability and a sense of peace. How does this acceptance challenge our cultural attitudes towards death, and what can we learn from the speaker's journey when it comes to facing our own mortality?
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