At the start of the film “The Family Man†Nicholas Cage or Jack is a successful billion dollar stock investor who has no wife and no children. He is living the high life of money, girls and pleasure. All he wants to do is get richer. One day an angel appears to him and says to Jack he would give him a glimpse of what life could have been like. That night he goes to sleep as normal, but when he wakes up he is married with two children and no longer lives in the city but in the rural country side.
Initially, Jack cannot accept his new lifestyle. He runs away and drives back to the city with his old job and old rich lifestyle. But no one recognises him. Soon, with his legs between his tale, he returns to the rural lifestyle, in a simple house with his wife and two children. With anger and frustration, he seems to not to get along with his wife initially. Things seem not good enough. His daughter sees through him saying “you are not my real dadâ€. Overtime, through his frustration, with a thousand things to do to care for his family, he has some experiences which help Jack to fall in love with where he is at. Through playing with his young daughter and finding a newfound spark with his wife, kindles in him a new perspective. Right when you think Jack has it all together the angel switches things back to the old Jack and he loses his wife and children.
Are we living the life of Jack today?
Are we living disconnected to our loves ones and/or our children because of our work driven lives or consumer driven life styles?
What are the angels in our own life that will help us to change our perspectives?
This is not as easy as clicking our fingers and everything changes.
Sometimes our egos can get in the way. We don’t want to grow up because we like the way things are. Like the baby bird called to leave the nest to learn how to fly. We might think we are being present with our parents, but as Thomas Merton would call, “we need to search for our true sense of selfâ€. In order to be truly present, we need to transition from the first half of life to the second half of life. Presence is not something we do, but rather, we open more fully to the reality of life. Presence happens to us. As Jesus would say “Let your will be doneâ€.
Somehow, we need a tender revolution where the spark of love we re-discover in places we do not expect.
How can we become more present in our lives? We need an angel. In our own context angels need to awaken us in different ways:
Through simplicity - By not taking a job promotion, pay rise or taking on a new project, that our egos desperately desire.
Through stillness - By learning to slow down, instead of meeting deadlines, times and dates.
Through quality time - Playing with our children in ways we might find boring or meaning less. Asking them, lets spend 20 minutes quality time - what would you like to do? Or if you do not have children, asking your nephew or niece, or friends’ children, what would they like to do? We all have a role to play in raising children.
Through wellbeing - By prioritising our own wellbeing and doing things that nurture our soul. Rather than being more efficient or prioritising jobs, rather, prioritizing the care of self. How can you care for others if you do not also care for self?
Through challenge - Where we sit down with a homeless or someone outside of our comfortable circle and enter a conversation rather than racing past.
By growing up - At different stages of our lives, we need to recognise that life needs to change. We cannot do things as they were 30 years ago, 20 years ago or 10 years ago. By entering more fully into life, we recognise that we not the stream, but rather we are swimming in the stream. We are more fully able to be present to life. Thus, the baby bird needs to leave the nest, otherwise the bird will never realise they are an eagle.
Presence requires us to let go of “business-as-usual†and seek something that is hidden. When the angel asks Mary “to bear the sonâ€. Mary did not fully know what was to come in her life. That her son would suffer and die. This is the same for us. There is a pattern for living life and part of the pattern is accepting the mystery which is beyond what we can see.
Who are the angels in our life?
This is up to you. Because they appear when we do not expect.
Questions for further discussion and reflection
Transformation through Discomfort: Jack’s life changes drastically when he is thrust into a new reality, which he initially resists. Reflect on a moment in your own life when you were taken out of your comfort zone. How did this experience change your perspective on what truly matters in life? Discuss the role discomfort plays in personal growth and presence.
Defining Presence in Relationships: The blog post suggests that being present is more than just physically being there with our loved ones; it involves a deeper engagement and a letting go of ego-driven goals. How do you define true presence in relationships, and what practical steps can one take to cultivate this quality of being with family, friends, or even strangers?
The Role of 'Angels' in Our Lives: In the narrative, angels serve as catalysts for change, guiding Jack to a new understanding. Who or what have been the 'angels' in your life that prompted a reevaluation of your priorities? Discuss how these pivotal encounters can be recognized and embraced for transformation.
While, listening to these songs, reflect on these questions while the music plays.
Song - U2 - One
Song - Mumford & Sons - Guiding Light
Song - Birdy and Rhodes - Let It All Go
Closing prayer
Dear God,
As we reflect on the life of Jack, the narrative of change, and the call to presence, we seek Your guidance to navigate our own paths. We thank You for the countless blessings You bestow upon us, for the comfort of home, the warmth of family, and the richness of our experiences.
We come before You now, asking for the wisdom to discern the angels You send into our lives, those harbingers of change that urge us to look deeper into our hearts and embrace the life we might otherwise have missed. Help us to recognize these messengers and the messages they carry, even when they arrive in unexpected forms or moments of challenge.
Grant us the strength, O God, to let go of the pursuits that distance us from You and from one another. Teach us the virtue of simplicity, that we may find joy in the ordinary and the peace that comes from stillness. In the rush of our days, remind us to slow down, to prioritize moments of quality time with those we love, to play, to laugh, and to be truly present.
Nurture our souls with the courage to step out of our nests, to engage with those who walk different paths, and to see the world through their eyes. As we grow and our lives evolve, help us to let go of past selves and embrace the new, trusting that we swim in the stream of Your grace.
Finally, Lord, we ask for the humility to accept the mystery of life, the unseen pattern of Your design, and the faith to say 'Let Your will be done' in all things. May we carry the spark of Your divine love into all our interactions, becoming instruments of Your presence in a world that yearns for connection and meaning.
(Audio Available)
